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Being a deer, I’ve been hit by a lot of different motor vehicles. Mid-engine sports cars to heavy duty diesel trucks, you name it and chances are I’ve been hit by …»More
Flip through any sports-apparel catalog and it’s clear we sheep are out of favor. Wool has taken a backseat to man-made materials like polypropylene, PolarFleece and the high-tech fabrics of Gore …»More
So I hear you wanna join the circus, huh kid? Let me give you some advice - Don’t! Life under the Big Top ain’t all fresh hay and peanuts.
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After three calves and Farmer John tugging away at my mammories for years, my udder has had it. It looks old, droopy, disgusting! I want an udder enhancement.
Five …»More
Starting next year, a new tax law will redefine food given to animals by “non-employees” as tips. Since tips are considered income we’ll now be required to declare this “income” on …»More
Researchers have found a way to clone stem cells from monkey genes. With the organ grinder market completely dried up and labs only hiring low-paid rhesus types from India, this news …»More
I have a BMI of 76. That puts me in the category of morbidly obese. I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you, (I ate all the sugar anyway) my chances …»More
Animals have a hard time using high-end mobile phones. I know because I’m a deer and I’ve owned them all: the Sony Ericsson W810i, the Motorola Q, Samsung’s BlackJack... All nice …»More
I ate a kid once. The details aren’t important. What IS important is that they caught me and put me in this zoo cage where I have been doing my time …»More
I’m an circus elephant. I sweat a lot. So when I read the latest reports on global warming I became concerned. There’s nothing worse than humid weather in a hot circus …»More
The UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concludes that atmospheric temperatures are on the rise. Global warming is real.
As a cow I bear some of the responsibility. …»More
They say the cheetah is the fastest animal on land. Color me, unimpressed. I can hang upside down from a branch. You don’t see ME showing off for the encyclopedia people. …»More
Last holiday season was no different than the others - I gained another 10 pounds! I was at my trough and saw the reflection of a sad overweight pig. How did …»More
Bears can run a hundred yards in a few seconds. I"ve moved …»More
