Animal Internet

Hey, Center For Disease Control, here’s a tip for ya - nobody likes a disease named after them.

You’d think they would’ve figured that out after all those letters they got from the residents of Lyme, Connecticut.  Or after the nasty messages left on their answering machine from the Ebola River Travel Bureau.   But they obviously did not.  And now ALL birds are branded with the scarlet letter of a fatal disease.  Lou Gehrig, we feel for you.

Here"s what I want to know - why did birds get this honor bestowed upon them when other animals didn"t?  They don’t call it Monkey Aids.  Sailors don’t get Goat Syphilis.

I’m sure all you other animals are saying I’m being too sensitive.  Yeah?  Suppose they tacked on YOUR evolutionary genus to a life-threatening disease?  What if they started putting up signs saying, “Smoking causes Dog Cancer”? Or saying that “Exercise and proper diet prevent Hamster Heart”?  You"d suddenly pay attention then, wouldn"t you?

So on behalf of the entire Avian community, I’m asking for everybody’s help.  We’re going to write the CDC and demand the name be changed.  We just need to decide what the new name should be and Flu That Comes From Only A Tiny, Tiny Group Of Obscure Birds is too long.

Any suggestions?