Letter to a Fellow Ant - Stop with the Steroids
We've all been talking, the other ants and I. We know you probably don't want to hear this but we're your friends and we think you need to listen. Look, we ants are a beautiful species. One of the finest in the insect-- Oh, I'm just gonna say it: Woodrow, we know you're using steroids. We want you to stop.
You can pull a Roger Clemens all you want but the truth is just plan obvious. I mean, look at you: zero body fat, baldness, the ability to lift 30 times your body weight. Who do you think you're fooling? I'm a fairly strong ant myself and I can lift maybe 15 times my body weight. MAYBE. You're lifting 30. No way! Look at your body, it's hard as armor. Think of the damage you're doing to your liver.
We love you, Man. The whole gang - the wasp, the gnats, all the other ants... We want you to be around a long time. So stop with the steroids.
Anyone have anything to add?
You can pull a Roger Clemens all you want but the truth is just plan obvious. I mean, look at you: zero body fat, baldness, the ability to lift 30 times your body weight. Who do you think you're fooling? I'm a fairly strong ant myself and I can lift maybe 15 times my body weight. MAYBE. You're lifting 30. No way! Look at your body, it's hard as armor. Think of the damage you're doing to your liver.
We love you, Man. The whole gang - the wasp, the gnats, all the other ants... We want you to be around a long time. So stop with the steroids.
Anyone have anything to add?
Comments (2)
i hear if you do too much steriods it will make your antennas shrink!
We love you too, ant, and all your good buddies trooping along in that madcap army formation of yours---- right into our food dishes! The problem is, how can we properly express our love for you, if everytime we eat our food, we inadvertently lap up a few dozen of you guys? What, do you think you taste good? No way! And then we get a dose of your &U;*(^ steroids we don’t want!
I’ve got a great solution: keep out of our food!