So I Hear You Want To Join The Circus
So I hear you wanna join the circus, huh kid? Let me give you some advice - Don’t! Life under the Big Top ain’t all fresh hay and peanuts.
I used to be like you - bright-eyed, full of hope. I too listened when the circus recruiters talked about waking up each day in a new town and nights spent in front of cheering crowds. What the recruiters forget to mention are the 23 hours between shows.
It’s lonely being in the circus. You’re on the road nine months a year. What, you think you’re gonna meet some great gal at the local zoo? One willing to drop everything to follow you cross-country as a groupie? Oh, please! Let me tell you how your nights are gonna be spent: Alone in the mess tent playing cards with me, some midgets and the union drivers.
And by the way, the tents stink. Ever see a washing machine big enough to hold one? No, you haven’t because they don’t make-- Oh Hell, why am I even wasting my breath? You’re gonna do what you want no matter what I say. But mark my words, five years from now you’re gonna be standing backstage before showtime, the guy coming up behind you with the broom handle and you’re gonna think, “I should’ve listened to the old geezer. I should’ve never joined the circus.” But it’ll be too late then. You’ll be stuck. Check out Monster.com. See any job offerings for middle-aged elephants? The circus is no life, kid. Once you’re in it you never get out. It’s like porn.
There. I said my peace. Now get outta here and leave me alone.
Comments (3)
Complain all you want, it still beats life in the petting zoo. Don’t even get me started.
I was in a circus for two years and I still don’t know how they get all of those clowns into the car. Man, have you ever been in a VW bug? Those things are CRAMPED.
This is too exotic for me. I am a cat and a small one at that. Seriously, does anyone want a domestic longhair in the circus?